It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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