i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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