nut hugger
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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