He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
