oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
