He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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