he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
