I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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