What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
