All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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