yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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