...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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