Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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