It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
