someone get that fucking seahorse.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
