she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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