I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
