Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
