nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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