i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
