ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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