My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
