Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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