every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
