Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
