so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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