You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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