my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
