the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
