Im at strip club and am horny
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize