btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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