screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
