i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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