I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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