Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
