I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
