is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
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This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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