This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
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I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.