if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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