the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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