he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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