Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize