dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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