You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
