Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You left your phone here
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