Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
whose parrot is this?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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