Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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