like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
whose parrot is this?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
