I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
