Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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