You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
