And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
