my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
