I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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