I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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