i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
