all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
