my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
